'Til now, I always got by on my own.....

I haven't written for a while because I have been having a little crisis of confidence.....I know, right?! How utterly shocking! I didn't feel I had anything appropriate to write. It's not that things have been easy or have changed massively I just didn't feel good enough. Didn't feel that what I might say would be engaging or valid.

However, here I am and I pose an essential question:  Does a person lose the right to have standards just because they are alone?

I have been single now for the longest consecutive period of my life and this means that often the very first single guy my friends spot is deemed good enough, simply because he is single as well. It doesn't matter if I think the guy is attractive or we have anything in common, simply our matching relationship status is enough. Is that right? I feel like it really isn't.

One of my friends has very often told me I have to be "picky as fuck". His arguement for this is I have been through quite enough and deserve only the very best in a guy, from his personality to what I personally deem as attractive. Not anyone elses idea of what I want, just mine. It has taken me a while but I actually truly believe he is right. Internet dating hasn't thrown anyone interesting my way, in the slightest! All the guys I DO like or find a bit fascinating have me well and truly in the friendzone....however this shouldn't mean I should settle for anything less than what I want.....

If I do, I will end up in the wrong relationship again. I deserve to be happy and loved by someone who not only interests and amuses me but also who I find fascinating and share common goals and ideals with. They should feel those things for me too! It's not a game of snap here, people. Two matching relationship statuses do not a partnership make!

Do I wish I had love in my life? Yes. Am I willing to settle for something forced and not quite right? Not any more. Do I deserve to be completely happy with my choices of partner, life and love? Absofuckinglutely. No more second best for this girl. It's either worth the wait or not worth having.