I hadn't fully anticipated having to write this post quite so soon. Three months and ten days after losing Grandad, we have lost Nana.
Nana's death, unlike Grandad, was expected. I feel like I have spent the last month waiting for the call, and when my parents went to Spain last week I knew it would happen while they were gone.....
In reality I have been grieving the loss of my Nana for ten years, but that never prepared me for the final chapter. Alzheimer's is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the cruellest disease I have ever witnessed. My mother has spent her entire retirement caring for both her parents and in the past few weeks Nana has not known her at all. Mum has been so strong and brave and now she has to bury both parents in less than half a year. Cruel.
My Nana was a brave, strong and fiercely proud woman. We spent every holiday with her, she was there when I broke my first bone, taught me to cook, taught me to be creative, made me laugh and was generous, kind, loving and supportive to all she loved.
Nana, I will miss you every day. I am sorry for the times your illness frustrated me, for times I was short with you. I'm sorry that I wasn't with you that final day....I hope you know I called and the last thing I said was "please tell her I love her". I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger for you, I hope you are proud of me, I hope you have your memories back, that you are no longer a prisoner in your own mind. I hope wherever you are there are owls, that there is dancing, Italian food and jumble sales but above all else I hope you and Grandad are together.
This blog will never, ever do justice to the woman who I was blessed to call Nanny Pat. To the woman who raised my incredible mother and treated my dad like a son.
Thank you for being the greatest Nana we ever could have wanted....sleep well my guardian angel x💜x
